The back page of The New Yorker magazine features a really funny cartoon caption contest. An established cartoonist submits a drawing with no caption, leaving the magazine’s loyal readers to offer their own submissions. For instance, a recent issue featured a picture of a killer whale sitting in a courtroom with his attorney. The winning caption had the attorney shouting:

“That’s alleged killer whale, your honor!”

Funny!

Last year I was featured on the cover of a Dutch magazine following a European speaking tour. Until then the closest I got to Holland was the rooftop bar at New York's Hotel Gansevoort. (Two words: Pomegranate Cosmo.) Anyway, the cover of DB/M Magazine features a cartoon of a business man gazing admiringly at a computer.

Though I suspect I look Dutch judging from the hearty welcome in the native tongue at customs, I unfortunately don’t speak or read Dutch. So I was can’t be quite sure what the caption accompanying my name actually means:

“Met MDM dwingen we data-integriteit af Jill Dyché.”

Funny! (Or is it?)

So here are three captions that might work:

1. “It’s actually a relatively cheap data warehouse appliance. Jill Dyché advised them to encrust it with diamonds to knock up the price point.”
2. “My shiny new watch has more bells and whistles that Jill Dyché’s stupid server does!”
3. Thank God the paramedics are here! Jill Dyché is stuck in a file cabinet and can’t get out!

Any other takers?